


Heart Bled Empty

by Fluffykitty9000



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Memory Magic, Minecraft, Multi, Redemption, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:36:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29726346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fluffykitty9000/pseuds/Fluffykitty9000
Summary: The popping of lava rang in his ears like gunshots, every last one of them. His lungs burned from the scent of smoke and he had gotten used to the constant stick of sweat long ago. Not even this cell could keep him or the SMP safe, he knew what he had to do. The only problem was he didn't want to. He just wanted things to go back to how they were.--OrAn AU where the actions of Dream weren't entirely his fault and as he struggles with the guilt and the desire to see his friends again.
Kudos: 7





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfiction may contain plot errors regarding the SMP. This is both due to this being an AU as well as me not being an expert. Some characters might also be switched around. This story may also contain content some may find uncomfortable.

Dream knew pretty much everything that could happen in the room he was stuck in. Each tick of the clock had long been driven into him, becoming such background noise he didn't even notice it anymore. The sweat that hung from his orange outfit soaked into the depths of the fabric as the heat bombarded him before evaporating as his sweat began to slow down. He was used to the constant thirst in the back of his throat, each drop of sweat using up the valuable resource inside him. 

Even despite his time in the scorching heat, he can never seem to get used to it. Most of his cell being at such an unbearable stage of heat he had to sit against the wall. Burns from touching the wall and floor had faded into his skin, respawning with them so often it didn't matter anymore. Of course, those weren't the only source of burn scars for him. Plunges into the scorching liquid have often started to leave behind their remnants. Scars that snaked around him, leaving texture to his skin at random places.

Even with his shirt carelessly unbuttoned and his pants rolled up, fat beads of sweat rolled down his limbs, his dirty blonde hair in a permanent state of noticeable wetness. Though of course, he didn't have to worry about what would be scorching on his face from the insulation of his mask. When he had gotten captured Tommy insisted that they remove his mask and show everyone his face. Sapnap and George had tried to go against this decision along with a few others, but no real effort was made to stop Tommy. The one thing in his life he desperately tried to take control over, shattered instantly as the straps of his mask unclipped with Tommy's thin fingers.

The emotions regarding that moment still burned deep in his chest as he sat in the cell with little to do other than think. People had stopped visiting him a while ago, even Tommy stopped showing up. They were all attempting to recover from what had happened, move on with their lives and try to pick up the pieces. The only time people managed to drag themself over to see him, was for the books he could sign. The commands he could input and bring back the dead, give people more lives, anything they wanted. Of course, he had little right to refuse even if he wanted to. But he didn't, what other use did he have to the server if he didn't do this? Maybe they would decide to kill him.

Dream snorted at the thought, hitting his head on the wall as he laughed out loud. If they _could_ kill him, he would want them to do nothing else. He had plunged himself into the lava so many times, he had fallen so many times. So many things that should have reduced his life count to nothing. But of course, he was 'lucky' and could never fall below that line. Every death brought his life count to zero before finally increasing by one, a glitch he couldn't get rid of. Though of course, they didn't know that, so it irked him that they didn't attempt to kill him yet. Maybe it made them feel more heroic, above him in a way, never steeping so low as to kill him. Even still, if any of them were stuck in his position they would prefer death over it too.

His back scraped raw against the hard rock that he couldn't escape from, he had long ago given up on trying to find a comfortable position in this hell hole. It was better to just try and ignore it rather than to attempt to solve it. Dream couldn't even remember how long he was in here. Actually, that's a lie. It has been 6 months, 20 days, 16 minutes, and 47 seconds. Though of course, he was the only one who knew that. Everyone else had most likely stopped thinking of him a while ago.

He could feel his bones pressing against his skin as he adjusted his position, the diet of raw potatoes eating up all the muscles he used to have. Of course, when Dream could manage the heat and exhaustion he did work out routines, though they were short as possible, barely able to keep away from heat exhaustion. Of course, these are all just the facts of how his body is doing, nothing regarding himself. Dream barely spoke if anyone visited anymore, he did his best to hide his face when people came in, keeping his back to them whenever he could.

Guilt ate him up with every breath he took. The tears that managed to fall down his cheeks sizzled onto the ground each night as he was unable to get any sleep. Actually, he hasn't slept once since he got here. Or much even before. His admin blood allows him to suck energy from the matter around him, meaning he could survive but it still felt like shit. Not being able to sleep also gave Dream the enjoyable ability to never be free of his thoughts.

He constantly relived the memories of all he has done and feels the sting of each one every single time. He hated himself for everything. He needed them to forgive him, but he knew he didn't deserve an ounce of their forgiveness. Not that it mattered, no one seemed eager to forgive him at all. Even those who attempted to be semi-friendly with him had the same look of hatred or fear in their eyes. Dream knew this was all his fault. What happened to Wilbur, Tommy, everyone. If he had been stronger it wouldn't have happened. He failed them, all of them. He didn't deserve to breathe the air anymore. He knew that as long as he remained alive his friends-if he was even still allowed to call them that- would be suffering. He knew that the only way for everyone to be happy again, to move on and be able to smile, was for him to disappear. For him to leave this server and never come back. All he had to do was find a way to kill himself that worked and didn't keep resetting. But, to do that, first, he had to get to the reason he was the way he was. To the research behind it and hope it has a way. Of course, even before that, he needs to escape.


	2. Visitor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first visitor in forever, it looks like they will be here a while.
> 
> TW: swearing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fanfiction may contain plot errors regarding the SMP. This is both due to this being an AU as well as me not being an expert. Some characters might also be switched around. This story may also contain content some may find uncomfortable.

Dream gazed at the lava for an endless amount of time. Mechanisms sounded, he glanced around confused, this was not part of the routine. He didn't need to check the clock to know it was not the time that the dispensers would send him food, it was far from it. His eyebrows furrowed as he backed up into a corner, facing away from the lava as to hide his face. He couldn't help the small amount of hope in his heart at the thought of a visitor. Though in reality, he knew that if it was a visitor they were here for something. Maybe they were going to ask to use the revive book. He shuddered at the thought, he hated doing it, but it was only a matter of time before they put two and two together on if he could do it. They knew he could give people more lives. Though they had yet to ask him to bring back Schlatt and Wilbur. Maybe they didn't think he could do it?

Dream glanced through his hair as he heard the footsteps, licking his mangled lips as he caught a familiar frame. He felt himself cringe as he saw him, the face of someone who he couldn't help but hurt. He felt himself shrink farther against the wall, trying to get himself as far away from him as possible.

"Dream," Tommy said dully, though Dream noticed he had more confidence in his voice. Dream smiled at this, Tommy was recovering. Dream gave a small wave with his left hand to show Tommy that he wasn't ignoring him. "You still look like shit," Tommy said, a tone of mockery. Dream snorted at this,

"Still look better than you." he joked, his voice cracking painfully as he spoke. He didn't realize how long it had been since he had spoken. Tommy scoffed, letting out a sigh as he leaned against the wall. There was silence for a moment, the only thing Dream could hear was the lava. It almost felt like Tommy wasn't even there. Dream shivered at that thought, glancing up to check if he was still there. Feeling the relief when he still could just barely see Tommy without fully turning around.

"You really don't like showing your face do you?" Tommy spoke, a curious tone in his voice.

"No, I don't."

"Why?" Dream went silent, feeling his breath shake at the answer to that question. Tommy let out an annoyed scoff, "I don't know why I bothered." he went silent again before laughing to himself, Dream could hear the thick tone of emotion with his next words, "You know what, knowing that it was important to you, makes it so worth taking it off in front of everyone." Dream scrunched up at the mention. He could never forget when Tommy ripped his mask off with everyone watching. Everyone has seen his face, it felt like cuts in his throat and mind to think about. Dream knew Tommy was getting madder and madder with each moment Dream didn't give him a reaction. Dream just knew that everything Tommy said was true. He deserved every ounce of suffering he was getting. So what was he to say? "This is the last time I'm visiting you, you know that?" Dream felt everything inside him curl up and die. He felt pain grip his chest, tears barely managing to stay hidden. Guess the chances of visits were no more. Dream laughed lightly, at himself rather than Tommy though it was unclear to the other man,

"Really? Why's that." Tommy let out a sound of bewilderment.

"Why? Are you insane? You ruined everything! You blew up L'manburg, you hurt everyone, you... you almost killed Tubbo!" Tommy yelled out, his voice bouncing on the walls. "I did." Dream stated. There was nothing else he could really say. He had apologized but his word meant nothing after what he had done. He didn't want their forgiveness, he just wanted them to move on. To be happy again, without him. Tommy took a moment to recollect himself before speaking, "We are moving on, without you. I am going to start a new chapter in my life. I am not going to be controlled by you." Tommy spoke, his confidence wavering slightly, but still managing to stay strong. Dream smiled at this, he was glad that Tommy was finding some peace. "So where are those books I asked you to make?" Dream stiffened. The books. He had tossed those into the lava. He had forgotten about those.

"I-I burned them." Dream spoke out simply, feeling the anger return to Tommy again.

"You what?" Tommy yelled out, slamming his hand into the wall.

"I burned them." Dream repeated. He remembered writing them. But he also remembered throwing them into the lava as he felt the painful vines spreading over his hands and the voice booming in his ears. He remembered what he wrote and he remembered the strength it took to throw it into the flame. It was better that Tommy didn't see them.

"I heard you, you Bastard!" he spat out, "Why the fuck, did. you. burn. them?" Dream remained silent, once again finding it a more appropriate-and believable- response than the truth. "What the fuck am I kidding, of course, you won't respond. You know, considering you are sitting in a cell rotting away like the shit you are, you think that you could make just a little bit o yourself useful for once. But no, that's too much for a waste of space like you." Tommy spoke disgusted and angry. Dream agreed with everything there so he didn't add anything. "You know, sometimes I wish we-" Tommy was cut off by loud explosions outside the cell. Dream looked up along with Tommy, confusion laced in his face. "Sam? Sam! Sam! Let me out?! What's going on out there? Hello? Sam!?" Tommy began yelling, panic seeping into his words as Dream returned to his previous position. He heard Tommy stalk over, grabbing Dream by his shirt and throwing him against the wall. This of course was easy due to the little Dream weighed. "What, the fuck, did you do." he spat angrily at Dream, painfully pushing against his neck. Dream instinctively grabbed the arm against his neck but made no effort to remove it. He realized he was looking straight at Tommy's face and turned his head to the side.

"I didn't do anything," he said simply. It was the truth, as unbelievable as it was. He, just like Tommy, was confused. Tommy shoved Dream against the wall before returning back to yelling at the lava wall. Dream then returned to his corner. This continued for a moment before Dream spoke up, "You know, he won't come." "What do you mean? What do you know you bastard?" Dream sighed, Tommy's anger being a little annoying. He smiled lightly. He missed Tommy. "It's a rule, a waiver you can say, for this prison. If there is ever a security issue, you are to be locked in the prison." Dream explained, knowing about how well that was going to go over.

"A wai- what the fuck?! Let me guess this is something you sick fuck set up when you made this bullshit prison?" Dream stayed quiet, confirming Tommy's statement. "Of course you did. This is your fault. Everything is your fault. You ruin everything." Dream thought for a moment, speaking something he regretted as he felt his heart contract painfully.

"It's not that bad, it's just like exile."

"Don't you ever. Fucking. Mention exile to me again." Tommy spat out. Dream felt the vines in his chest. His breathing hurt, it cracked his ribs and poured into his skin. He tried to keep it gone, with breathing but it was winning,

"Why? It wasn't that bad I mean you had me as your friend, we had good times together." Dream felt the corner of his lips smile which he quickly killed. He felt sick. It hurt to breathe so much.

"Wasn't bad?! You made me put my stuff in a hole! I can't even go past plane biomes without shaking!" Tommy spat out in a slightly broken voice. Dream clamped his mouth shut, forcing himself not to speak as he bit his lip with enough force to cut it. Without warning, Dream was thrown against the wall again, face to face with Tommy again. Though this time Tommy's face was filled with rage. Dream saw the fist before the impact but didn't make an effort to dodge. Dream felt blood trickle down his lip from the punch and his own bitting. "Speak damn it! Fucking speak! Stop just sitting there quietly speak!" Tommy lashed out, a panic tone hiding amidst his anger.

"What do you want me to say?" Dream asked, looking away as much as he could. Tommy let go of Dream, visibly mad. He grabbed anything he could and threw it on the ground. Tommy looked at the items before grabbing them and throwing them into the lava. "You know everything is going to be replaced." Dream spoke through the pain. Seeing Tommy made it harder for him to breathe. The vines wanted out.

"I don't care! I want out. No, I am getting out!" he hissed.

"If you find a way out let me know." Dream joked. His joke was rewarded by another punch to the face.

"Fuck. You." Dream let out a sigh, gripping his jaw lightly as he judged the pain. He reached into his chest and grabbed a few potatoes, rolling a few over to Tommy.

"You are going to have to eat you know. You will be here for a while." Tommy spat at Dream, though still picked up the potatoes when he thought Dream wasn't looking. "Why haven't you asked to bring back Wilbur?" Dream spoke, kicking himself mentally for letting it slip out.

"Bring him back? He is dead." Tommy spoke plainly from his seat as far away from Dream as he could manage.

"You and me both know I can bring him back."

"That's idiotic, he is dead."

"Tommy, I can give you more lives, how is bringing back someone who doesn't have any that far-fetched?"

"Because it just is Dream. Wilbur is dead. Schlatt is dead. They aren't coming back."

"But they could." there was a heavy silence before Dream continued, "I have a book. I can bring them back with a few commands-" Dream couldn't continue as he received another punch to the face.

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! They are D e a d." Tommy spoke brokenly as he punched Dream again. Dream dodged this one.

"Tommy the fact you don't want to accept it doesn't make it untrue." Dream spoke, feeling the vines break through his chest as the two of them got frustrated.

"You bitch! Just stop! Stop manipulating everyone around you! You are here in the prison where you can't hurt anyone anymore. Just do us a favour for once and leave it that way."

"But you could all be together again-" Tommy threw another punch, Dream dodged. His reflexes were slow, but Tommy was much too angry to fight strategically.

"Shut up!" another dodged punch. "Tommy stop hitting me." Dream spoke through clenched teeth as he blocked a hid with his forearm. He felt pain skyrocket through his arm, his loss of meat on his bones evident. Tommy threw another punch. Another. "Just die!" Dream blocked and weaved, the vines getting louder. They wanted out. _What right did Tommy have to treat him like this? After all, Tommy was below him. A pawn, just a player in his game to move him forward._ Dream gritted his teeth,

"Tommy stop-" he froze as his fist made contact with Tommy. He could feel the vines in the veins of his shoulder. Everything hurt.

"You fucking piece of shit-" Tommy began punching him again, and despite Dream's efforts, Dream began punching him too. They beat on each other, yells being sprouted as they did so. Dream was still winning though. Tommy's injuries were catching up to him and soon he found Dream atop him beating in his face.

" **Y** o **u** d **o** u **b** t **m** y **a** b **i** l **i** t **y**?" Dream spat out as he stared down at Tommy.

"D-Dream stop I am on one heart Dream stop!" Tommy yelled out in fear. Dream raised his arm, a sick smile on his face as he began to bring it down. Dream stopped just before his face. His expression contorted in effort as he stiffly got off Tommy and collapsed in the corner. Tommy's heavy breathing could be heard as he began to calm down from his panic, eating some of the potatoes Dream gave him. The two fell into silence at what had just almost happened. Dream stared at the wall as he struggled to shove the vines away. _I should have killed him. I could have brought him back and proven to him. Everything would be fine. Just one more punch..._

Dream struggled to breathe as he gripped his forearm with a tight grip. One that was sure to bruise him, his nails drawing blood. He could see the black vines dancing on the edge of his sleeves, just at his elbows. He knew his eyes would be dotted with specks of black as well to match the black vines. He breathed in, focusing on it instead of the scared child in the room. The blood dripped down his head. God, he was pathetic.


End file.
